Sex Differences in Family Relationships

Adolescence, 12e Laurence Steinberg

Chapter 4 –

families

Chapter 4 –

families

Chapter 4 Overview (1)

Is Conflict Between Parents and Teenagers Inevitable?

The Generation Gap: Fact and Fiction

What Do Adolescents and Parents Usually Fight About?

Family Relationships at Adolescence

A Time of Reorganization and Change

The Adolescent’s Parents at Midlife

Changes in Family Needs and Functions

Transformations in Family Relations

Sex Differences in Family Relationships

Chapter 4 Overview (2)

Family Relationships and Adolescent Development

Parenting Styles and Their Effects

Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development

Genetic and Environmental Influences on Adolescent Development

Why Are Siblings Often So Different?

Chapter 4 Overview (3)

The Adolescent’s Family in a Changing Society

Adolescents and Divorce

The Specific Impact of Marital Conflict

The Longer-Term Effects of Divorce

Custody, Contact, and Conflict Following Divorce

Remarriage

Economic Stress and Poverty

Special Family Forms

The Importance of the Family in Adolescent Development

The Generation Gap: Fact and Fiction

Parents and teens generally have similar beliefs about core values, such as religion, work, and education.

However, they usually have differences in opinions for matters of personal taste, such as style of dress, music preferences, and leisure activities.

These preferences are likely to be largely shaped by forces outside the family.

The generation gap tends to fluctuate from one historical epoch to the next.

What Do Adolescents and Parents Usually Fight About?

Conflicts focus on mundane issues (curfews, leisure time activities, clothing, cleanliness of their rooms).

They stem from different perspectives on issues and violations of expectations.

Contrary to stereotype, adolescents rarely rebel against their parents for the sake of rebelling.

Conflict between parents and children increases during early adolescence.

Struggles are generally over who has authority.

Family Relationships at Adolescence

Adolescence is a period of change and reorganization in family relationships.

Family systems theory: Relationships in families change most dramatically during times when individual family members or the family’s circumstances are changing, because it is during these times that the family’s equilibrium often is upset.

The Adolescent’s Parents at Midlife (1)

Midlife Meets Adolescence

Most parents are in their early 40s.

Midlife crisis: A psychological crisis over identity believed to occur between the ages of 35 and 45

Parents are experiencing increased concern about their bodies, attractiveness, and sexual appeal even as adolescents are maturing and approaching a period of life labeled one of the most attractive.

Parents are beginning to feel that the possibilities for change are limited, while their children are looking toward the future.

The occupational plateau is the point at which adults can tell how successful they are likely to be.

The Adolescent’s Parents at Midlife (2)

The Mental Health of Parents

Nearly two-thirds of mothers and fathers describe adolescence as the most difficult stage of parenting.

Parents’ mental health problems negatively affect they way they interact with children.

Parental mental health generally does not decline with an “empty nest.”

Changes in Family Needs and Functions

Changes in financial strain

Cost of clothing, car

Large anticipated expenditures (for example, college)

Parents belong to “sandwich generation”

Changes in family’s relationship to other social institutions

Increasing importance of peers to adolescents

Family’s role during adolescence less clear than in infancy or childhood

Special concerns of immigrant families

How adolescents and parents adjust to changes in family needs and functions varies across ethnic groups.

Familism: An orientation toward life in which the needs of the family take precedence over the needs of the individual

Generational dissonance: Divergence of views between adolescents and parents that is common in families of immigrant parents and American-born adolescents

Transformations in Family Relationships (1)

Changes in the Balance of Power

Adolescents try to play a more forceful role in the family, but parents take time to allow adolescents influence.

To adapt requires a shared sense of what they are experiencing and how they are changing.

Transformations in Family Relationships (2)

Figure 4.1: Between early and mid-adolescence, there is an increase in the proportion of families in which parents and teenagers have a turbulent relationship, but between mid- and late adolescence, parent-adolescent relationships improve markedly.

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Transformations in Family Relationships (3)

The Role of Puberty

Biological and cognitive maturation at puberty throws the family system out of balance.

Diminished closeness is mostly due to increased teenager privacy and less physical affection than to serious loss of love or respect.

The first half of adolescence may be a particularly strained and distant time.

Because disagreements revolve around parental control, patterns of bickering may vary across cultural groups.

Transformations in Family Relationships (4)

Figure 4.2: As adolescents mature into young adulthood, their identification with their family grows stronger.

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Figure 2

Sex Differences in Family Relationships (1)

Differences between the family relations of sons and daughters are minimal.

Similar degrees of closeness, types of rules, patterns of activities

Interact with parents in similar ways

However, teenagers relate very differently to mothers and fathers.

Often closer to mothers

Fathers viewed as relatively distant authority figures

Fight more with mothers and view them as more controlling

Sex Differences in Family Relationships (2)

Figure 4.3: Age differences in time spent with mothers and fathers.

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Figure 4

Family Relationships and Adolescent Development

Parent-adolescent relationships differ from family to family.

Socialization is a two-way street; just as parents affect their adolescents’ behavior, adolescents affect how their parents behave.

Harsh discipline leads to increases in adolescent behavior problems.

Adolescents who differ in temperament are affected in different ways by the same parenting.

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (1)

Diana Baumrind suggests two critical aspects (dimensions) of parenting:

Parental responsiveness: Degree to which the parent responds to the child’s needs in an accepting, supportive manner

Parental demandingness: Degree to which parent expects and insists on mature, responsible behavior from the child

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (2)

Four Styles of Parenting

Authoritative parents: Use warmth, firm control, and rational, issue oriented discipline, in which emphasis is placed on the development of self-direction

Authoritarian parents: Use punitive, absolute, and forceful discipline, and place a premium on obedience and conformity

Indulgent parents: Characterized by responsiveness but low demandingness, and who are mainly concerned with the child’s happiness

Indifferent parents: Characterized by low levels of both responsiveness and demandingness

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (3)

Figure 4.4: A typological conceptualization of parenting styles based on the dimensions of responsiveness and demandingness.

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Figure 5

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (4)

The Power of Authoritative Parenting

Children raised in authoritative houses are more psychosocially mature, responsible, self-assured, creative, curious, socially skilled, and academically successful than peers raised with other parenting styles.

Adolescents raised in authoritarian homes are more dependent, more passive, less socially adept, less self-assured, and less curious.

Adolescents raised in indulgent households are less mature, less responsible, and more conforming to their peers.

Adolescents raised in indifferent homes are often impulsive and more likely to be involved in delinquent behavior and in precocious experimentation with sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (5)

The Power of Authoritative Parenting, continued

Neglectful, abusive, hostile parenting has harmful effects on adolescents’ mental health and development.

The link between healthy development and authoritative parenting has been found in studies of a wide variety of ethnicities, social classes, and family structures around the world.

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (6)

Table 4.1: The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting Several years ago, after reviewing decades of research on parenting and child development, I came to the conclusion that we really did know what sort of parenting is most likely to help children and adolescents grow up in healthy ways. Here’s what all parents, regardless of their child’s age, should keep in mind:

1. What you do matters
2. You cannot be too loving.
3. Be involved in your child’s life.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
5. Establish rules and set limits.
6. Help foster your child’s independence.
7. Be consistent.
8. Avoid harsh discipline.
9. Explain your rules and decisions.
10. Treat your child with respect.
Source: The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, (Steinberg, 2005b).

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (7)

Ethnic Differences in Parent Practices

Authoritative parenting is less prevalent among Black, Asian, or Hispanic families than among White families.

Ethnic minority parents are often more demanding.

Many Asian and Asian-American families use a parenting style better labeled as protective or “strict-affectionate,” which does not have same negative outcomes as authoritarian parenting.

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (8)

How Authoritative Parenting Works

It provides appropriate balance between restrictiveness and autonomy that sets standards but promotes self-reliance.

It promotes intellectual development that is the foundation of maturity.

Because it is based on a warm parent-child relationship, adolescents are more likely to admire and form strong attachments to their parents.

Child’s own behavior, temperament, and personality shape parenting practices.

Parenting Styles and Their Effects (9)

Autonomy and Attachment in the Adolescent’s Family

Adolescents who are permitted to assert their own opinions within a family context that is secure and loving develop higher self-esteem and more mature coping abilities.

Adolescents whose autonomy is squelched are at risk for developing feelings of depression and low self-esteem.

Adolescents who do not feel connected are more likely than their peers to develop behavior problems.

Adolescents’ Relationships with Siblings

As children mature from childhood to early adolescence, sibling conflict increases.

Over the course of adolescence, sibling relationships change:

Become more equal

Become more distant

Become less emotionally intense

The quality of sibling relationships is affected by the quality of parent-child relationships.

The quality of sibling relationships affects adolescent’s relationships with peers and vice versa.

Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development (1)

Behavioral genetics: The scientific study of genetic influences on behavior

Molecular genetics: The scientific study of the structure and function of genes

Alleles: Different versions of the same gene

Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development (2)

Genetic and Environmental Influences on Adolescent Development

Shared environmental influences: Nongenetic influences that make individuals living in the same family similar to each other

Nonshared environmental influences: Nongenetic influences in individuals’ lives that make them different from people they live with

Both genetic and nonshared environmental influences are very strong during adolescence; shared environmental influences are less so.

Genetic factors strongly influence many qualities previously assumed to be shaped mainly by environment.

Adolescents with same the genetic predispositions develop differently in different environments.

Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development (3)

Differential Susceptibility to the Environment

Diathesis-stress model: Perspective on psychological disorders that posits that problems are the result of an interaction between a preexisting condition (the diathesis) and exposure to stress in the environment

Inherited tendencies to develop particular disorders is why mental illnesses run in families, but not all people with a genetic tendency toward a disorder will develop that disorder.

Differential susceptibility theory: The idea that the same genetic tendencies that make an individual especially susceptible to develop problems when exposed to adverse environmental influences also make him or her especially likely to thrive when exposed to positive environmental influences.

Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development (4)

Figure 4.5: The diathesis-stress model (left) and the differential susceptibility theory.

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Figure 8

Why Are Siblings Often So Different?

Unless they are identical twins, two siblings may have inherited different genes from their parents, at least with respect to some traits.

Siblings may have very different family experiences.

Treated differently by parents

Perceive similar experiences in different ways

Grew up in the same household at different times in family’s life

Unequal treatment often creates conflict among siblings and may lead to negative outcomes, but treating siblings differently may actually be good as long as they are each treated well.

Experiences outside the family also influence each sibling differently.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (1)

In many industrialized nations, including America, the family has undergone many profound changes over the last half century.

High rates of divorce, cohabitation, and childbearing outside of marriage, and a changing international economy have altered the world that children grow up in.

The proportion of single-parent families stabilized at historically high levels during the 1990s and has remained relatively unchanged since.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (2)

Divorce

The U.S. divorce rate began increasing during the 1960s, peaked during the 1980s, and has apparently been declining since.

The marriage rate has declined and cohabitation rates are up.

Approximately one-third of people who married in the 2000s will be divorced within 20 years.

Adolescents are more likely than children to grow up in a divorced family than actually experience their parents’ divorce.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (3)

Single Parenthood

Sixty percent of all children are born outside of marriage.

A significant number of these children are still living with more than one adult.

While 80 percent of all Asian children, 75 percent of all White children, and 67 percent of all Hispanic children live with two parents, only 38 percent of Black children do.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (4)

Remarriage

Two-thirds of divorced men and half of divorced women will remarry.

Most children of separated parents will also live in a stepfamily.

Most children whose parents remarry will live through a second divorce.

Frequent changes in living arrangements adversely affect adolescents.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (5)

Poverty

Approximately 20 percent of all adolescents in the U.S. grow up in abject poverty.

An additional 20 percent grow up in low-income families.

Poverty is much more likely to affect the lives of non-White adolescents.

One reason for disparities between White and non-White children is the racial disparity of single-parenthood.

Because the conditions under which divorce, single parenthood, and remarriage take place vary tremendously from family to family, it is hard to generalize about their effects.

The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (6)

Figure 4.6: In the United States, there are substantial racial and ethnic differences in the percentage of adolescents who are classified as “low income,” and within that category, classified as poor.

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Figure 8

Adolescents and Divorce (1)

The effect of divorce is small in the United States partially because it is common.

The quality of relationships with the important adults in a teen’s life matters most, not the number of parents present in the house.

The process of going through a divorce matters most, not the resulting family structure (single-parent or stepfamily).

Research has linked the adverse consequences of divorce to a number of factors not specifically due to having a single parent, such as exposure to marital conflict and disorganized parenting.

Some effects may be caused by genetic differences between adolescents whose parents have divorced and those whose parents have. (Adults who divorce may have genetic differences from those who do not, differences that are passed on.)

Adolescents and Divorce (2)

Some teenagers are more vulnerable to the short-term effects of divorce.

In general, immediate problems are relatively more common among the following:

Boys

Younger children

Children with a difficult temperament

Children who do not have supportive relationships with adults outside the immediate family

Children whose parents divorce during the transition into adolescence

The specific impact of marital conflict (1)

Children are more adversely affected by marital conflict when they are aware of it than when it is hidden from them.

Children are more negatively affected when the marital conflict leads to feelings of insecurity or self-blame.

Marital conflict more adversely affects the adolescent when the conflict disrupts the quality of the parent-child relationship.

The Specific Impact of Marital Conflict (2)

Figure 4.7: Hostile marital conflict makes adolescents feel insecure, which leads to behavior problems.

Figure 9

The Longer-term effects of divorce

Preadolescents and adolescents whose parents divorce often have adjustment difficulties, even into their 30s.

Sleeper Effects

Sleeper effects may not be apparent until much later in development.

The behaviors demonstrating adjustments difficulties, such as drug use, may not surface until adolescence.

Certain developmental challenges related to relationships will not be apparent until the adolescent has a romantic relationship.

Custody, contact, and conflict following divorce

After a divorce, do different kinds of living arrangements or levels of contact affect the adolescent’s well-being?

The nature of the relationship between the adolescent’s divorced parents, and not which one he or she lives with, is the key factor.

Children may fare better in the custody of the same-sex parent in the short-term, but these effects decrease over time.

Time spent with fathers often decreases rapidly after divorce, but children who have regular contact with their fathers have fewer problems.

Financial support from fathers is associated with less problem behavior and higher academic achievement.

Remarriage (1)

Adolescents growing up in stepfamilies often have more problems than their peers.

Like the short-term effects of divorce, the short-term effects of remarriage vary among children.

Girls have more difficulty than boys.

Older children have more difficulty than younger children.

Both boys and younger children have more to gain from their mother’s remarriage than do girls or older children, who may have become accustomed to having a single mother.

Remarriage (2)

Difficulties Adjusting to Parental Remarriage

Remarriage is stressful when new stepparent relationship is not accommodated.

Many adolescents have trouble adjusting to a new authority figure, who may have different ideas about discipline and rules.

Stepparents also find adjustment difficult.

Child adjustment declines each time family household composition changes.

Relationship with noncustodial parent has a major impact on adjustment to stepfamilies.

Adolescents close to both father and stepfather have better outcomes.

Economic Stress and Poverty (1)

The Effects of Financial Strain

Disruptions in parenting

Increases in adolescent difficulties, including a diminished sense of mastery, increased emotional distress, academic and interpersonal problems, and delinquency

Increased depression and anxiety in parents

Adolescents at risk of a variety of problems

Economic Stress and Poverty (2)

Figure 4.8 Economic strain affects adolescent adjustment via several pathways.

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Economic Stress and Poverty (3)

The Impact of Chronic Poverty

Undermines parental effectiveness

Makes parents harsher, more depressed, less involved, less consistent, more embroiled in conflict

For adolescents, causes increased anxiety and depression, more frequent conduct problems, diminished school performance, less prosocial behavior

Families fare better when they have adequate social support and strong times to religious institutions.

Adolescents benefit from parental monitoring, but do not thrive under excessive control.

Economic Stress and Poverty (4)

Homeless Adolescents

1.3 million adolescents are living on the streets any given night.

Runaway youth population is mostly female (75 percent), between the ages of 12 and 17, with as much as 40 percent LGBTQ teens.

Racial composition varies regionally along with larger population.

Homeless youth are more likely to engage in risky behaviors.

Number increased after 2008 downturn, but has declined since

They are on streets due to financial ruin or as runaways.

Consequences include illness, poor nutrition, mental health problems, substance abuse, school disruption, “survival sex.”

Special Family Forms (1)

Adolescents and Adoption

Studies of psychological development of adolescents who have been adopted yield mixed findings.

Adopted individuals show relatively higher rates of delinquency, substance use, psychological difficulties, and poorer school performance.

Magnitudes of differences are very small.

Variations due partly to variability in feelings about being adopted.

Special Family Forms (2)

Adolescents with Lesbian or Gay Parents

Sexual orientation may still be considered in adoption, custody, and parental visitation decisions.

Numerous studies have found that there is no evidence that children or adolescents with lesbian or gay parents are psychologically different than those with straight parents.

One recent study of Dutch children raised by female same-sex couples found that these adolescents scored higher than children raised by opposite-sex couples on measures of tolerance and conflict resolution skills.

Special Family Forms (3)

Adolescents in Foster Care

Foster care: Placement in a temporary living arrangement when a child’s parents are not able to provide care, nurturance, or safety

Nearly one-third of young people in foster care enter as adolescents, generally due to parental maltreatment or delinquency.

Adolescents who have spent time in foster care are at an increased risk for emotional and behavioral problems.

Emotional and behavioral problems may be a result of the abuse or neglect that necessitated their placement in foster care or from foster care placement itself.

After a period, they are either sent back to their parents or declared independent, if old enough.

The Importance of the Family in Adolescent Development

Adolescents who feel that their parents or guardians are there for them—caring, involved, and accepting—are healthier, happier, and more competent than their peers.

Despite growing importance of peers, adolescents still need love and support from adults who care about them.

Accessibility Content: Text Alternatives for Images

Transformations in Family Relationships (2) Text Alternative

Two line graphs showing the proportion of families that have turbulent relationships during adolescence.

The first graph is titled early-to-middle adolescence with the ages 12, 13, 14, 15, and 16 along the x-axis, and the proportions 0, 0.10, 0.20. 0.30, 0.40, 0.50, and 0.60 along the y-axis. The proportion of families that are harmonious is approximately 0.34 at age 12, rises slightly to 0.35 by age 14, and falls again to about 0.34 by age 16. The proportion of families that have authoritative relationships is approximately 0.36 at age 12 and falls fairly steadily to 0.20 at age 16. The proportion of families that have uninvolved-discordant relationships is approximately 0.15 at age 12 and rises to 0.20 at age 16. The proportion of families that have turbulent relationships is about 0.14 at age 12 and rises to 0.25 at age 16.

The second graph is titled middle-to-late adolescence with the ages 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20 along the x-axis, and the proportions 0, 0.10, 0.20. 0.30, 0.40, 0.50, and 0.60 along the y-axis. The proportion of families that are harmonious is approximately 0.30 at age 16 and rises steadily to 0.53 at age 20. The proportion of families that have authoritative relationships is approximately 0.11 at age 16 and falls fairly steadily to 0.09 before age 20. The proportion of families that have uninvolved-discordant relationships is approximately 0.30 at age 16, rises slightly at age 17, then gradually falls to 0.28 at age 20. The proportion of families that have turbulent relationships is about 0.29 at age 16 and falls to 0.11 at age 20.

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Transformations in Family Relationships (4) Text Alternative

A line graph comparing females and males in terms of their family identity from 9th grade to 4 years post high school. From 9th grade to 12th grade, both females and males decline in their family identity from 4.1 to 4.0 for girls and from 4.2 to 3.9 for boys, but from this point on, they begin to identify more with their families, rising to 4.5 for girls and 4.2 for boys by 4 years after high school.

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Sex Differences in Family Relationships (2) Text Alternative

Two line graphs compare the time boys and girls spent per 7 days with their mothers and fathers from age 8 to age 18. The graph on the right shows time spent with mothers, while the chart on the right show time spent with fathers. Girls tend to spend about 70 minutes per 7 days with their mothers at age 8, increasing gradually to about 100 minutes by age 15, then declining to about 75 minutes at age 18, while they tend to spend about 40 minutes per 7 days with their fathers at age 8, increasing gradually to about 70 minutes by age 15, then declining slightly to about 60 minutes by age 18. Boys tend to spend about 45 minutes per 7 days with their mothers at age 8, increasing slightly to about 60 minutes by age 13, then declining to about 30 minutes by age 18, while they tend to spend about 25 minutes per 7 days with their fathers at age 8, increasing slightly to about 35 minutes by age 13, then declining slightly to about 20 minutes by age 18.

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Parenting Styles and Their Effects (3) Text Alternative

A chart of four boxes, each describing a parenting style: authoritarian, authoritative, indifferent, and indulgent. The two boxes at the higher level (authoritarian and authoritative) represent styles that involve high demandingness, while the two boxes at the lower level (indifferent and indulgent) represent styles that involve low demandingness. The two boxes on the left (authoritarian and indifferent) represent styles that involve low responsiveness, while the two boxes on the right (authoritative and indulgent) represent styles that involve high responsiveness. Characteristics of each style are as follows: 1) The authoritarian style is adult-centered, autocratic, and rigid, involving strict rules, an expectation of obedience, and punitive punishment. 2) The authoritative style is child-centered, democratic, and flexible, involving the establishment of firm behavioral guidelines, the engagement of adolescents in decision making, and self-regulation. 3) The indifferent style is adult-centered, passive, and dismissing, involving few demands on the adolescent and no supervision of behavior. 4) The indulgent style is child-centered, indulgent, and appeasing, involving no guidelines, the avoidance of confrontation, and few rules or expectations.

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Genetic Influences on Adolescent Development (4) Text Alternative

Two line graphs.

The first graph is titled Diathesis-Stress Model. The y-axis is labeled outcome and negative and positive. The x-axis is labeled environment/experience and negative and positive. One line is labeled “hardy individual,” and shows a steady positive outcome whether the environment/experience is negative or positive. The other line is labeled “vulnerable individual” and shows a negative outcome when the environment/experience is negative and a positive outcome when the environment/experience is positive.

The second graph is titled Differential Susceptibility Model. The y-axis is labeled outcome and negative and positive. The x-axis is labeled environment/experience and negative and positive. One line is labeled “fixed individual,” and shows a steady neutral outcome whether the environment/experience is negative or positive. The other line is labeled “malleable individual” and shows a negative outcome when the environment/experience is negative and a positive outcome when the environment/experience is positive.

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The Adolescent’s family in a changing society (6) Text Alternative

A bar graph showing the percentages of adolescents classified as low income or poor in 2017 by ethnicity.

For White adolescents, approximately 26 percent were low income and 11 percent were poor.

For Black adolescents, approximately 57 percent were low income and 32 percent were poor.

For Hispanic adolescents, approximately 56 percent were low income and 26 percent were poor.

For Asian adolescents, approximately 31 percent were low income and 12 percent were poor.

For Native American adolescents, approximately 53 percent were low income and 26 percent were poor.

For adolescents of other ethnicities, approximately 36 percent were low income and 16 percent were poor.

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Economic Stress and Poverty (2) Text Alternative

A flow chart show how economic strain affects adolescent adjustment through several pathways.

At the left side of the chart, four boxes are labeled family income, unstable work, debts to assets, and income loss. Arrows lead to the right from each of these boxes to a box labeled family economic pressure. Two arrows lead to the right from this box to two separate boxes, one labeled father’s depressed mood and one labeled mother’s depressed mood. Three arrows lead from the father’s depressed mood box to a line of three separate boxes, labeled marital conflict, poor parenting, and adolescent difficulties. Three arrows lead from the mother’s depressed mood box to the same line of three boxes.